Night Jokes

Who satisfies earth the most?

Sun. Because the sun goes down every night.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night?

Nocturtle

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

A: To the moovies.

What does a mentally disabled lizard said to be diagnosed with?

A Reptile Dysfunction *ba dum tss* I'll be here all night folks

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Where were you on the night of the 5th?

Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape " leans in "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."

What do little piglets do on a Saturday night?

Have a pigjama party!

Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.

How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?

He used a skeleton key.

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?

The slaughter house

What did you call a dinosaur that keeps you awake at night ?

Bronto-snore-us !

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

What's the scariest thing to wake up to in the morning?

Another day.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why is a beer like a woman?

After you drink one you can't shut up or drive.

Why did the cultists drink the Kool-Aid?

To get to the other side.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

What did the cannibal say to his co-worker?

You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner.

Dedicate Jokes More Dedicate Jokes

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

What do you call an american late night channel block dedicated to tsundere anime shows?

Tsunami

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act?

A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked A: Yes HIRED!

What should PMS be called?

Ovary-acting

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

Where do you park Two Ships of Theseus?

At a Pair of Docks

Whats do a baby and old people have in common?

They both get ditched in the park

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

How do you make a bunch of Redditors mad?

deleted

What do you call a bunch of unicorns?

A unicornucopia.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

How did the midget feel when he found out he was retarded?

A little Down.