Night Jokes

Who satisfies earth the most?

Sun. Because the sun goes down every night.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night?

Nocturtle

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

A: To the moovies.

What does a mentally disabled lizard said to be diagnosed with?

A Reptile Dysfunction *ba dum tss* I'll be here all night folks

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Where were you on the night of the 5th?

Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape " leans in "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."

What do little piglets do on a Saturday night?

Have a pigjama party!

Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.

How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?

He used a skeleton key.

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?

The slaughter house

What did you call a dinosaur that keeps you awake at night ?

Bronto-snore-us !

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

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Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What does a bird say when it wants revenge?

Toucan play at that game!

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

Tsunami Jokes More Tsunami Jokes

What do you call an american late night channel block dedicated to tsundere anime shows?

Tsunami

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

You park your car, man.

What do you call a chinese food truck?

A Wok in the Park

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

How does Google celebrate its birthday?

With a search party.

Why go to college?

There's Google.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why does Jesus always leave a door open for you?

Because he was born in a barn.

What would Jesus say if you angered him?

I'm Crossed."

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What do Bernie Sanders and the Statue of Liberty have in common?

Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty.

Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming?

He thought it would help him with his hit detection.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What did the double-amputee say when he stood up?

I stand corrected." -From

What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after?

A one night stand with Jesus

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Who was Michael Jackson?

Son: Dad, is God man or a woman? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God black or white? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God good or bad? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God - Michael Jackson?

What's the difference between my bike and your mom?

Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.