What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night?

Nocturtle

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem , He sleeps at night.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day?

Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.

What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common?

Cold turkey

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

Where were you on the night of the 5th?

Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape " leans in "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a turtle?

A slowpoke!