What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man wear a frog for a condom?

So he was ribbit for her pleasure.

Why do men want to marry a virgin?

To avoid criticism and comparison.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What fun drink can put your kid to sleep?

Bleach

What kind of rice puts you to sleep?

Ray Rice

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Pervert Jokes More Pervert Jokes

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out.