What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Why do women have cleaner minds than men?

Because they change theirs more often

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why are you sleeping at your desk?

Me: Because my bed is at home.

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

What's a glow worms favourite song ?

Wake me up before you glow glow !

Pervert Jokes More Pervert Jokes

What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out?

A piece of gum, you pervert!

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't pull out of the chicken