Pervert Jokes

How did the two perverts break up?

I think we should see other peepholes."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

Why did Frosty drop his pants?

Because he's a pervert that likes showing people his snowballs.

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out?

A piece of gum, you pervert!

What did the pervert get for Christmas?

A partial in a pear tree.

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

Because he can see the D

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out.

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

Where does the pervert keep the underwear he steals?

In his briefcase!

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do a carjacker and pervert have in common?

They're always cracking in-ya-windows!

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't pull out of the chicken

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb?

Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?

A daydreamer stares out of windows.

How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?

One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.

How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert?

Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

Why did the pervert like to watch girls in their entrance hallways?

He was a foyer.

How many perverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist?

A pervert.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out.

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What happened to the Polish dog?

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call the pope after a drive by?

Your holiness"

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"

Regard Jokes More Regard Jokes

Why is auto correct regarded as an important invention?

Because it's mage tipping berry ready for us. Obligatory edit: very easy for us

Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

Because he can see the D

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it?

A: a $20 bill

Whats the distance between hole one and hole two?

She answered "About an inch".

Peke Jokes More Peke Jokes

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

I'm only Peking.

What did the Chinaman cleaning the rotisserie say to the crestfallen window shopper?

No Peking!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the pervert get for Christmas?

A partial in a pear tree.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Alphabet Jokes More Alphabet Jokes

What is the 25th letter of the alphabet?

The son answers, "Y." "Because I want to know!"

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!