Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do cars do at the disco?

Brake dance.

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you get people to quit smoking?

Cut off their lips

How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Lets go ride a bike!

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How are an armless man at a buffet and a kleptomaniac the same?

They just can't help themselves.

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What's the one thing a mechanic can't fix?

Stupid

Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer?

Fixed* deleted

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What do you get when someone refuses to pay the bills?

A Greek.

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Colleague Jokes More Colleague Jokes

Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%?

It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!

What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague?

If you need me, I'll be in my Lab.

Einstein Jokes More Einstein Jokes

What do you call it when Einstein faps?

A stroke of genius.

What do people at the Genius Bar drink from?

Einsteins

Quantum Mechanic Jokes More Quantum Mechanic Jokes

Where does an atom go when it breaks down?

A quantum mechanic. lel

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.