Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?

Nun chucks.

How do you save a drowning mouse ?

Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?

Michael

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How can you drive so recklessly?

Driver: I have to this is a getaway car.

What is 90-60-90?

Speed while driving past a speed camera.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What does Bob the spider do for a living?

He's a web developer.

Where do noobs live in Iceland?

Rekt-javk

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How would you write do not touch in Braile?

A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

I just booked a cook for cooking the books."

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

Why couldn't the cat speak?

A: The dog taped his mouth.