Homeless Man Jokes

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing

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What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man?

An Instagram account.

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can?

One of them gets taken in every once in a while.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What do you call a homeless man?

A Hobo Sapien.

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

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Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant?

Go big or go home

What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash?

A rootabaga.

What do you call two homeless men hitting each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

What do you do when your Apple device gets warm?

Ask apple to open the backdoor.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who knows where they went?

They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife?

An erection and a place to put it.

How was the beach?

You hang ten or what " No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation

Hypothermia Jokes More Hypothermia Jokes

What did the homeless got for Christmas?

Hypothermia.

What did the homeless man get for christmas ?

Hypothermia.

Workout Jokes More Workout Jokes

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Giant Jokes More Giant Jokes

What did the Giant say to the cripple?

Hodor. Hodor! Hodor!

What is even bigger than an elephant ?

A giant !

Kim Kardashian Jokes More Kim Kardashian Jokes

Why couldn't Kim Kardashian see Caitlyn Jenner?

Because she was trans-parent.

What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?

They both got famous for getting a black man off.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call it when a woman of the church goes on a secret mission?

Nun of your business

Why are women such bad drivers?

Because they are constantly lied to about what 8" is.