Homeless Man Jokes

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing

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What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man?

An Instagram account.

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can?

One of them gets taken in every once in a while.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What do you call a homeless man?

A Hobo Sapien.

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

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Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant?

Go big or go home

What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash?

A rootabaga.

What do you call two homeless men hitting each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

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What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

Why do women love chocolate?

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What did the homeless man get for christmas ?

Hypothermia.

How can you tell if someone with parkinsons has hypothermia?

You can't. That's what makes it so funny.

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Why are campers so predictable?

You know they're in tents.

What was the problem?

ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent

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How does Kanye West screw in a lightbulb?

He holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.

Why doesn't Kanye West take his wife to the beach?

Because he is afraid tidal wave will take her away from him.

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What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

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What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

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What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.

What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish?

A couple of weeks

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What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.