How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

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How do you end world hunger?

Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.

How was the roman empire cut in half?

With a pair of caesars

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When do you kick a midget in the balls?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor?

The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back.

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What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

What did Caesar say when he went to the whorehouse?

Veni Vidi Veni

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What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Why did the roman only smoke 490 blunts and not 500?

Because XD