Caesar Jokes

What did Caesar say when he went to the whorehouse?

Veni Vidi Veni

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?"

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova?

Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."

What did Caesar say when was in agreement?

I came. I saw. I concurred.

What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

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What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ?

Toga-ether we can rule the world !

When did Caesar reign ?

I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did didn't they hail him

Who's there ! Caesar ! Caesar who ?

Caesar quickly before she gets away !

What did Caesar say after crossing the river Rubicon?

Can someone get me some dry socks "

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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What aftershave do monsters wear?

Brute.

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?"

Julius Caesar Jokes More Julius Caesar Jokes

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered." Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

Little Caesars Jokes More Little Caesars Jokes

What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What is the coldest dish at a Mexican restaurant?

a b-r-r-r-r-ito

What did the Mexican kid get for his birthday?

My bike :(

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Why did the thoroughbred break up with the wild horse?

Because she was looking for a stable relationship.

Why's he in his underwear?

Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me.

Genghis Khan Jokes More Genghis Khan Jokes

What was wrong with Genghis Khan's new suit?

There was a chink in his armor.

How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia?

One steppe at a time.

Hispanic Midget Jokes More Hispanic Midget Jokes

What do you call a Hispanic midget?

Paragraph. Because he's not even a full ese.

What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with?

Little Caesar's

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train?

Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.