Caesar Jokes

What did Caesar say when he went to the whorehouse?

Veni Vidi Veni

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

What did Caesar say when he ran into his friend at a music lesson?

Etude, Brute?"

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova?

Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."

What did Caesar say when was in agreement?

I came. I saw. I concurred.

What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

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What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ?

Toga-ether we can rule the world !

When did Caesar reign ?

I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did didn't they hail him

Who's there ! Caesar ! Caesar who ?

Caesar quickly before she gets away !

What did Caesar say after crossing the river Rubicon?

Can someone get me some dry socks "

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A: A pair of Re-bachs.

Hispanic Midget Jokes More Hispanic Midget Jokes

What do you call a Hispanic midget?

Paragraph. Because he's not even a full ese.

What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with?

Little Caesar's

Genghis Khan Jokes More Genghis Khan Jokes

What was wrong with Genghis Khan's new suit?

There was a chink in his armor.

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered." Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

What do you do if the Ocean stares at you?

Sea it and Wave :3

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?

Oc The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

What's the difference between a good joke and click bait?

This isn't a good joke.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.

Why are ugly guys better with computers then women?

Turning off a computer often fixes the problem.

Chicken Caesar Jokes More Chicken Caesar Jokes

What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caesar salad.

What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?

A Chicken Caesar salad

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the Polack and the Native American name their first kid?

Running Stupid

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.