How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.

How can a black woman tell if she's pregnant?

When she takes out the tampon the cotton is already picked

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Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!

What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn?

Your lawn won't cut itself.

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How do you describe Catwoman in one word?

Purrfect

How a husband describe his wife?

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"