Sidewalk Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?

You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.

What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.

Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?

Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.

What happened when the chicken ate cement ?

She laid a sidewalk !

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

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European Jokes More European Jokes

What are you in the bathroom?

European

What are you if you aren't European?

Eurapoopin. -my daughter

Coin Jokes More Coin Jokes

What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

Skip Jokes More Skip Jokes

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9 and going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9!

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?

Skip.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was Karl Marx arrested for brewing a cup of Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

Banana Peel Jokes More Banana Peel Jokes

What do you call two banana peels?

A pair of slippers! :D

What do you say when you find two banana peels together?

Answer: A pair of slipper

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?

A hen that lays pooched eggs.

Why did the chickens cross the border?

Because they were Turkish.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?

Dad dad look what marma-laid' !