Sidewalk Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?

You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.

What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.

Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?

Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.

What happened when the chicken ate cement ?

She laid a sidewalk !

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

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Banana Peel Jokes More Banana Peel Jokes

What do you call two banana peels on the floor?

Slippers

Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?

Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed?

Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule.

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Who's driving?

Immigration.

Cement Jokes More Cement Jokes

What do you call 25 attorneys buried up their chin in cement?

Not enough cement

How do you make a song better using cement?

By remixing it.

Pink Panther Jokes More Pink Panther Jokes

What's the pink panther's to do list?

To do *To do *To do to do to do to do to doooooo

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why did the hipster's Hot Pocket burn his mouth?

He ate it before it was cool.

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?

Some people are against shooting guns.

Mud Jokes More Mud Jokes

How do vampire football players get the mud off?

They all get in the bat-tub.

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud and crosses back over?

A dirty double crosser.