Julius Caesar Jokes

What do my brother and Julius Caesar have in common?

They both hate been stabbed

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Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered." Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?

He wanted Mark Antony !

What did Jennifer Lawrence say to Julius Caesar?

May the Ides be ever in your favor."

What was the most privileged region conquered by Julius Caesar?

Cis-Alpine Gaul.

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute "

What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity?

Veni, Vidi... Veni.

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What did the Roman premature ejaculater say?

Veni, Vidi, Veni.

What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity?

Veni, Vidi... Veni.

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Why do Republicans favor small government?

To bitter fit in my uterus.

What did the large furry mammal say when the salamander who kept asking for favors went too far?

I can't bear it! You axolotl of me this time!

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What's the one public place that most people still support the separation of Colors and Whites?

The laundromat.

Which color is the coldest?

gundy

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What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

When are the hiest's coming out?

THEY ARE NOT!

Sleevie Jokes More Sleevie Jokes

Wheree did the king keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES LOL xp cuz it's like armies like babi talk for arms instead of an armie like a bunch of dudes w/ issues w/ theer masculinity np, glad i cud explain dis 2 u

Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What do communists do on May Day?

Paint the town red.

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

Brute Jokes More Brute Jokes

What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

What aftershave do monsters wear?

Brute.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the difference between regular AIDS and north korean AIDS?

Regular AIDS is incurable. North Korean AIDS is invincible!