Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

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What's a reporter's favorite food?

Ice cream because they always want a scoop!

Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors?

Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.

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What did the momma hawk say to her chicks?

Quit falcon around or get the flock outta here!

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

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What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute "

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

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What's the difference between politics and engineering?

What POC means.

Which duck will destroy the establishment?

None, ducks are not allowed in politics.