Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's angry most of the time and wants you to stick something hard in it?

An outlet

What's the last thing someone wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?

How do you know when a white girl recently visited her friends grave?

There's Starbucks next to the headstone.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness?

How are you vealing?

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

Why couldn't the computer play golf?

Because it had the wrong Driver

How did AL Gore program his computer?

With the proper al-gor-ithms

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What do you call a conservative toothbrush that won't shut up?

Brush Limbaugh

How do you shut up a deaf person?

Punch them in the hands.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.