Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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Mars Bar Jokes More Mars Bar Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?

About 500 calories.

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why do we feel like whistleblowers right now?

Because we're Snowedin.

When black guys say "ya feel me?

I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

How do Religious Education teachers mark exams?

With spirit levels.

What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?

X marks the pot, matey."

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow?

Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe.

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

Matt Damon Jokes More Matt Damon Jokes

What does Matt Damon call thrift shopping?

Goodwill Hunting.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

How do American chickens cross the road?

In a bucket.

What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?

A rabbit that says "Ribbit."

Quality Jokes More Quality Jokes

How do you tell a transgender from a real woman?

The quality of the sandwich.

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Bruno Mars Jokes More Bruno Mars Jokes

What do you call Bruno Mars?

Michael Jackson the third.

How do I look today?

Bruno Mars: "When I see your faceeee" Girl: "Ok ok I get it."