Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

Whores does it take to change a light bulb?

If this gets 500 upvotes i'll tell you!

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

The Indy 500.

Matt Damon Jokes More Matt Damon Jokes

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

How do you sabotage a space mission ?

Send Matt Damon

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

What do you call a person who teaches you the art of farting?

A tooter

Curiosity Jokes More Curiosity Jokes

What do you call a suicidal cat?

Curiosity.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between juice and cider?

I can't go deep in juice.

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.

Mars Bar Jokes More Mars Bar Jokes

Where do Martians drink beer ?

At a mars bar !

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call the babies born in a whorehouse?

Brothel sprouts.

What is the first thing you feel when you shoot a baby with a gun?

Recoil