What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

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What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

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Why was Phil Collins... ...never a good betting man?

Because he always went Against All Odds.

Why can't two even numbers be together?

The odds are against them.

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What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

How do you sabotage a space mission ?

Send Matt Damon