Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables?

In an American nursing home.

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What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

American Jokes More American Jokes

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

What did the American WWI vet say to the angry German veteran?

Can't we just let Argonne's be Argonne's?