Where does a sad chemist find employment?

At an apathycary!

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Why did the pirate date the mermaid?

He thought finding X in her algebra would lead to booty.

How can you tell a woman is having a bad day?

She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette

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What do you call the corner of 69th and main?

Your moms place of employment

Where does a sad chemist find employment?

At an apathycary!