He's never Reddit.
The know-kn0thing party.
Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.
Because they can't deny that their comment was the parent.
A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes
If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes.
A masochist