Ownership Jokes

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)