What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

What do you call girls that have a chance of winning?

Chicken Tenders.

Ownership Jokes More Ownership Jokes

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Newt Jokes More Newt Jokes

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Why do you call it Tiny?

Because it's my newt."