What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

Someone who points out the obvious.

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

Ownership Jokes More Ownership Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Newt Jokes More Newt Jokes

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Why do you call it Tiny?

Because it's my newt."