How do narcissists remember everything?

They have a photogenic memory.

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Why do elephants and stoners get along so well?

uh.. I don't remember..

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

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How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him.

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One narcissist. The narcissist holds the lightbulb in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.