What are the famous last words of a redneck?

Hey ya'll, watch this!"

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How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

What were the Kamikaze Pilot's last words?

Watch this cause i'll only do it once."

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What is the only word that a redneck will capitalise?

Punishment.

Why was the redneck on his Iphone at his sister's funeral...?

He was changing his relationship status to single. Dahurpy durp Dahurpy Durp Da dUrpy durp.