What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened?

Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?

Open the door. Put in the elephant. Close the door.

Why doesn't an old man ever go down on his old wife?

Ever opened a grilled-cheese sandwich?

Mayonnaise Jokes More Mayonnaise Jokes

Why do rednecks always smell like pickles, mayonnaise, and ham?

Because they're inbred.

What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?

Lmayo!