What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened?

Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"

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Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

How does a blonde turn on the light after making love?

Opens the car door.

Mayonnaise Jokes More Mayonnaise Jokes

What did the illiterate Mexican say to the funny looking bottle of mayonnaise?

LMAO"

What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?

Lmayo!