What do you call an investment banker who's always watching you?

A stocker.

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How do crows know what time is it?

They have the knights watch .

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

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Why did the investment bankers start dating?

Compound interest

Why did the investment banker leave her husband?

She was losing interest.