What do you call an investment banker who's always watching you?

A stocker.

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Why are there commentators for televised sports?

We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

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Why did the investment banker leave her husband?

She was losing interest.

What do you call an investment banker who's always watching you?

A stocker.