What is a long, tiresome speech delivered by a frothy pie topping?

Meringue-harangue

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Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy?

Because Opey never delivered.

Why is a reflection always twice as good as the real thing?

i actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!