What is the fastest mineral in the world?

The malacheetah.

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How does a feminist screw in a light bulb?

She doesn't, she just holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)