What is wrong with me?

Asking for a friend..

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What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with?

None of your beeswax!"

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

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Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?

A. Because all his friends shout "GO-RILLA!"

What did the psychic velociraptor say to his friend?

Dino what you're thinking."