Why did the pirate captain suddenly die?

He had an an*yarr*ysm.

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What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die