Why didn't they just call "Ant-Man" Uncle?

Credit to Steve Higgins from The Tonight Show.

What is the most mysterious cheese?

I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling very well. Credit to my four year old niece.