Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors?

Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!

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Where are the raisins today?

A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."

How do you know if someone's a vegan?

When you ask them "Are you a vegan?" and they say "Yes".

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Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?

She threw out all the W's.

What happens when you throw root beer in the ocean?

Root Beer Floats!