How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem?

He worked it out with a pencil!

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Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?

They don't believe in higher powers.

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

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What's the problem with Java jokes?

They have no .

What's the worst part about a potato famine?

You can't get to the root of the problem.