How do trees use the Internet?

They log on

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How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof