How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person?

The hypocrite's the one that exists.

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What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?

I want hue.

Why do people procrastinate?

I'll tell you later.

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How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist?

Gingerly.

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

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How many Global Warming nutjobs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't use light bulbs. They live in caves and use no forms of artificial energy because they wouldn't want to be perceived as hypocrites or morons.

What church do hypocrites belong to?

All of them.