How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person?

The hypocrite's the one that exists.

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How can you tell if someone is a pilot?

They'll just tell you.

What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

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Why French Fighter jet are name phantom?

Because they don't exist.

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

because cot(0) doesn't exist ... This joke... it burns my eyes...

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What church do hypocrites belong to?

All of them.

How many Global Warming nutjobs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't use light bulbs. They live in caves and use no forms of artificial energy because they wouldn't want to be perceived as hypocrites or morons.