What country do I live?

Iran

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Where do midget terrorists live?

Halfghanistan.

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

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Why do baby boomers like fracking so much?

Because figuratively breaking the country apart isn't enough.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

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Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq?

Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.