What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

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Where have you been my whole life?

I said "SOBER"

Why does Kylo Ren have a hard time making friends?

Because for most of his life, he's Ben Solo.

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What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

How do you tell the difference between a factory worker, and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'