What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

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What did the Challenger Austronaut day to his wife before he left?

You feed the kids, I'll feed the fishes."

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

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How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

What is the biggest plot twist in spanish soap operas?

When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother