How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

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How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life?

He found a lump on his testicle.

What's worse than finding a baby in a trashcan?

Finding a baby in two trashcans.

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What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike?

Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget.

What do you call the surveillance system that watches us all whilst we are in the bathroom?

the panoptijohn

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What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."

Why haven't Women landed on the Moon?

Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!

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How do you tell the difference between a Syrian hospital and an ISIS military base?

I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone.

Why don't Syrian Refugees play baseball?

because they don't know where home is

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Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea?

It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make

How do they launch a champagne factory?

They throw a boat at it.

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What's the difference between CNN and Al Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.

How do you get Reddit to improve their search function?

Have CNN report on how bad it is