What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

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What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

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How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

What do cows read at the breakfast table?

The moospaper!