What do you call a pompous Hobbit?

Bilbo Braggins

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How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

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What do 8 hobbits make?

A hobbyte.

What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much ?

The White Wizzer