Bilbo Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

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How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What do you call a pompous Hobbit?

Bilbo Braggins

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

What is a Mormon's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings

What's white and streaks across the sky at a thousand miles an hour?

The coming of the Lord.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do songwriters do after they die?

They decompose

What happens to a tapeworm after it dies?

It will be interred.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?

Mourning wood! :)

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

How did the autistic boy survive his jump from a plane?

He was retarded

Old Hobbits Jokes More Old Hobbits Jokes

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Bilbo Baggin Jokes More Bilbo Baggin Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room?

Air Conditioning

What has a ring but no fingers?

The former owner of a Note 7