Bilbo Baggin Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

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Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

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Bruce Willis Jokes More Bruce Willis Jokes

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do you call a ring of iron atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room?

Air Conditioning

Old Hobbit Jokes More Old Hobbit Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

Bilbo Jokes More Bilbo Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

What is the deadliest bear?

Seriously... I don't know the punchline to this, help me out.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

Whats the difference between a porsche and an erection?

I dont have a porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?

I can maintain polite conversation.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?

He was in de-Nile.

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.