Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How do most vegans die?

Malnutrition.

Where is 5?

Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident. DIE

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. You've probably heard this one before. But it's Christmas tomorrow so what the hell.

What do you call Abby who lives in the city?

Downtown Abby

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 because that's peasants work.

Procrastinator Jokes More Procrastinator Jokes

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.