Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ?

Barium

What do you do to a scientist after he dies?

You Barium.

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What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living?

A bad gambler

How long do owls live?

Six and a half books.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

How did the clock get cancer?

Second-hand smoke!

What did the second guesser with no self esteem say to Reddit?

edit: nevermind...

Procrastinator Jokes More Procrastinator Jokes

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.