Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. You've probably heard this one before. But it's Christmas tomorrow so what the hell.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!

What do you call one of Santa's helpers?

A subordinate clause

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How can you tell ignorance from indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?

Only two more sleeps till Christmas!

What did Anakin give to Padme for christmas?

Sithilis

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Because they all live in kansas.

Who lives in the white house?

the black man

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's the worse thing to hear during a prostate exam?

A zip.

Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

Naughty Girl Jokes More Naughty Girl Jokes

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause?

He knows where all the naughty girls live #*( )*