Why did Michael Jackson go to Macy's?

He heard boys' pants were half off.

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Why is Michael Jackson not able to back into a parking space?

Because he is dead.

What is white and inside a baby's diaper?

Michael Jackson's ghost's hand.

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Why do all Asian kids get straight A's?

Because the ones that don't are never heard from again. I'll be here all day folks.

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What would you rather have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?

At least with Parkinson's you have half a pint.

How do you call a car designed for midgets?

Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out.

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What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"

How much for this melted ghost?

Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys