What do you call a teeth specialist who writes books?

An author-dontist Wahey!

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Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

What's the shortest book ever written?

A: French War Heroes.

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What is bronze?

Read a book, you dummies.

Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.