What do you call alcohol in a birdbath?

Tequila Mockingbird!

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What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol?

Bill Murray.

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

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What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird!

What's an alcoholic's favorite novel?

Tequila Mockingbird I made this up just now... I'm so excited about it.