What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?

You slow down and use lube ( )

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How many r/jokes commenters does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know but that reminds me of a similar joke my uncle used to tell...

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

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How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.