What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between snowman and snow woman?

Snowballs.

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

When do you kick a midget in the nuts?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.