What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?

The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

What's the difference between Marty McFly and a Bears fan?

Eventually, Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you do when your girlfriend starts to smoke?

Slow the pace and apply more lube!

What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage. sorry.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend?

Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

How do you find Will Smith in winter?

You follow the Fresh Prince

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.