What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?

Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Where are you when you're in the U.K. waiting for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes ?

Nothing, somebody already told her twice"

How does an international banker have a good Friday night?

He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve."

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!